hi there,it's only me. Im ina deep, deep trance.
I just came froma nicotine anonymous meeting. Lemme
tell ya........
There's an old native woman.. who always speaks in rhymes.
now _she's_ got somethin.. i really want to find.
They say she quit smoking 'fore god built mountains and trees.
she'll help you if you say please.
Ah sez "Eagle woman! help me if you please!"
"I gotta girl in Beer Sheva - make a believa outa me.
whenever i'm near her, i fry my patty on a monitor screen.
But when she aint there - I cry and i beg and i screem.
So how's a nic kickin boy 'sposed to deal with this scene."
took sum beads from her tatttered lil' purse.
make a fist and spit at em with some verse.
ol woman, darkly looked in my eye.
a crazy ol buzzard we think can fly:::
Sez : "take these beads..... ya lil' coward,
your lumpa shit's just feedin you a flower..
Don't they make gold pure in a fire ??
don't smoke, work steps and let desire..
_burn_ your young ass free..
_burn_ on that eye-arse-sea."
She put the beads - round my wrist..
she roll my fingers open wide..
and seeds me with her spits..
"But do your steps, boy,
or you will just want to die..
do your steps,
so you can learn how to fly."
(July 16, 1995, smoke-free@msstate.edu)
There are four strands of
beads, each about 6 inches long that
join at one end in a metal elipse. The beads are strung on leather thongs,
unusual in shape, in shades of green, blue,
and black.
They are not meant to be worn on the body. I had them hanging from the rear view mirror in my car.
Actually, I said: "Freda, please help me figure this out." She then took some beads from her purse in one hand and spit into a napkin in her other hand before saying a verse. Then she put the beads on my wrist, said the second verse, and spit again into the napkin in her other hand.
When someone says 'take the beads', they are saying be true to yourself. It is something native people say to each other when they find themselves imitating mainstream culture to their own detriment. The beads are a symbol of nativeness. To take the beads is to assume nativeness. It is unusual to actually, physically give someone some beads when saying this.
I gave the beads to Lucia in the hope that she too might be admonished to be true to herself.
The purpose of my life is to love as fully and completely as I possibly can. I asked for help with my life from a number of people. How I got beads from an Indian woman is a particularly interesting example.
I did not realize that smoking had so impaired my ability to feel my emotions that it had entirely confounded the very purpose of my existance. If you are smoking, consider stopping for this reason: that you may know the unbounded joy of very deep and profound love. It is really a fine experience.