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A normal part of addiction is remorse. Until you are abstainent,
it will happen to you whether you did anything wrong or not. It is
probably so constantly with you, chiseling your self esteem that you
do not even realize it exists. The thing with addiction's remorse is
that it is a lying mother f****er and it will try to tell you you aren't
worth the air you breathe, that if everybody finds out who you really
are you are in deep shit, etc, etc, etc. THESE ARE LIES. DO NOT BELIEVE
THEM.

If you slip, and you feel and excruciating remorse, guilt and shame
flogging you.. please, child, be aware that this is only the disease
of addiction hurting you and does not represent any sort of moral truth
about you. Normally, a person could prolly benefit from a little guilt
which puts 'em back on the straight and narrow. However, this *addictive*
remorse can get coupled with obsessiveness, and then it can really get
excessive (and the pain can make you really want to smoke). Such a
remorse is not only useless, it is self destructive.

Listen to these lines from desiderata:

   "You are a child of the Universe 
      no less than the stars and the trees,
    You have a right to be here.."

If you have recently smoked, you might be feeling that urge to gawdamn
well hide. But i beg you.. come take a chance on us.... "come out and
play". Ok, hide if you must, but come out as soon as you are able. Maybe
you've been lurking. Well.. if you are ever even the teensiest little bit
tempted to come out and join with us.. by all means write us a note. Don't
wait until you have stopped. After all, a self help style support group
will not work unless you PARTICIPATE. I don't think its benefits are
available vicariously. 

rw@rwsys.wimsey.bc.ca (smoke-free since July 8, 1995)
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